In the fresh aftermath of Outreach Week, during which I lead a team of eight students to Lighthouse Bible Church in Simi Valley, I'm realizing much about the church and about myself.
Namely, there's a reality about spiritual leadership that one must come to grips with. When you lead, there will be those "under" you who are lots more sanctified than you, in lots of ways. You can't fall into the trap of thinking you're godly, or things will get really frustrating, hard, or depressing...or a mix of those. When that horribly wonderful moment of realization comes, you have to be ready to fall back on Christ, 'cause your own strength sure isn't going to be enough. I mean, it's not like you can just will yourself to knock on a door to invite someone to church, or convince yourself by your own fleshly means that you need to show love to someone.
So it's not so much that I have regrets about my actions as it is regrets about my perspective and attitude over the whole thing. Christ certainly wasn't at the forefront of my thoughts like He should have been. Leading doesn't make you one iota better or worse than anyone else, you just have to be willing to be an example and take the blame.
I’m Thankful For My Depression
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