One thing leaders must come to grips with

In the fresh aftermath of Outreach Week, during which I lead a team of eight students to Lighthouse Bible Church in Simi Valley, I'm realizing much about the church and about myself.

Namely, there's a reality about spiritual leadership that one must come to grips with. When you lead, there will be those "under" you who are lots more sanctified than you, in lots of ways. You can't fall into the trap of thinking you're godly, or things will get really frustrating, hard, or depressing...or a mix of those. When that horribly wonderful moment of realization comes, you have to be ready to fall back on Christ, 'cause your own strength sure isn't going to be enough. I mean, it's not like you can just will yourself to knock on a door to invite someone to church, or convince yourself by your own fleshly means that you need to show love to someone.

So it's not so much that I have regrets about my actions as it is regrets about my perspective and attitude over the whole thing. Christ certainly wasn't at the forefront of my thoughts like He should have been. Leading doesn't make you one iota better or worse than anyone else, you just have to be willing to be an example and take the blame.

gods they could control

Yesterday, I made the rare choice to go to Saturday night church at Grace Baptist with some friends from school. The worship and message by David Hegg were great: it was good to be reminded of God's promises and character, and to see the faith of Abram. However, there was one, almost offhanded, phrase that Pastor Hegg offered in his sermon that really made me see something in a new perspective. When speaking of the Caananites in Abraham's day, he spoke of the "gods they could control."

Gods they could control. The more I thought about that, the more I realized the dangerous problem with almost every (if not all) false religion or philosophy out there. The pagans of the Ancient Near East had gods they could control. They were always pressed to manipulate or please their gods by manner of some ritual or sacrifice. When they did it, the god must inevitably respond in a certain way. They taught that the gods were powerful, but it was actually they who could turn the gods to and fro as they willed.

Kind of shoots down the health and wealth gospel, doesn't it? Send in a one-time gift and God will bless you ten-fold! How controlling and manipulative of God is that? It is just like man to fashion a god of his own making that he could control. In fact, it makes perfect sense why many beliefs have moved away from the God of scripture and towards faith in a being that we can have some control over. Sacrifice to make him do this, pray this prayer and he will do that, yadda yadda yadda.

And the more you think about it, the more it should really make you glad that God doesn't answer all of our prayers just as we pray them. Should we actually want God to submit Himself to any and every specific prayer that we pray "in faith?" He is so much bigger and better than that. The God of the bible has no need to subject Himself to our prayers or sacrifices. It goes against all of human nature to invent a God that humbles and works above human thinking like no other, yet that is what scripture presents us with. I see no reason why He can't be real, because no one would have wanted to create a God of infinite mystery, wisdom, and power that we could have no controlling effect over.

Praise God that He doesn't submit Himself in any ways to His creation unless He is working out a plan all of His own.

Some poetry I've written for a class...enjoy!

Summer

I thought my plans would change me for the good
But memories came soon to take their due
The graduation stages called, "Do not
Forget the days you lived and worked for fun!"
I see the sun come up and days grow long
A "little sleep" and "folding of the hands"
And I become a lesser man. Pick up
A friend and throw the disk. Another time
For work will do. So click and click, tick-tock
Tick-tock, and evenings free fade out. They're gone
My spirit longed for profit. Sloth has set
The tone for all my days at home. I dig
Through mediocre games. Can I relight
Their spark and fan the flames of former days?
Put off the hard and we'll relive the nights
Of chance and vic'try, cards and dice, and more.
Thus enter months of wasting, two or three.
But grace remains and calls me back to where
My heart caught fire. What can I say except
That apathy has torn away what could
Have been my finest hour--a time of truth
And beauty for my King.

Life Observation

There are a few things in life that I doubt will ever get old, and I mean that in a very carnal, non-spiritual way. I speak of those things in life that are just plain awesome every time you experience them. They are few and far between, for sure, as even the most fun video game and even one's best friend can become boring or downright annoying.

As of now, two simple pleasures of life that have stood the test of time without flaw thus far are ultimate frisbee and sweet tea. I cannot recall a time in life nor conceive of myself ever getting sick or bored with either of these. Ultimate, perhaps the most perfect "college-kid" sport that will ever be invented in this world. Sweet tea, a simple but wondrously delightful beverage that remains far from delicacy status but never wears down on the taste buds for some reason.

Ah yes, the simple pleasures in life...

The Calm Before the Storm

It is approaching midnight as I write this. The caffeine from a Coke keeps me awake and alert. Classes start tomorrow.

As cliche as it sounds, it really is a brief calm before the storm for me. I suspect that for the rest of the semester not a night will go by without leaving plenty of homework and stress in it's wake. Countless thoughts flurry about in my mind. WOW was only kid stuff, just some fun to get people acclimated to the college environment. Now it's game time--time for the rubber to meet the road. The wing looks fantastic. Lots of great guys, plenty of good times to look forward to, I've just finished a great talk with my friend and Resident Assistant. A substantial amount of pretty girls have joined the ranks of TMC students. Three Communication classes and a sweet bible class promise a good year in the classroom.

Doubt. Apprehension. Relationships. Encouragement. Conviction. Despair. The gospel.

Heavy issues, but we're made for them, right? The flesh wants hours of Facebook and mediocre friendships, but grace is always sufficient. Let us pray that continuing measures of it are on the horizon. I will candidly admit to anyone that I don't have this whole leadership thing down yet. It's hard to imagine that God would put me in a position like this. I hardly know the first thing about anything, but here I am on Slight Lower-Back with new converts, music majors, athletes, and more. All one can do is pray at this point: "God I'm a loser and a failure, I'm clueless, help. Honestly Lord, please help!"

A Switchfoot song reminded me today to keep a heavenly perspective. I do belong somewhere past this setting sun, finally free, finally strong. Still, that only increases the urgency of the situation. I'll only go through this process two more times at most. Before I know it I'll be graduating, the world before me, then hopefully family and work, and then the end--just like that.

So now is the time to "throw it down." I may only have one or two more years with these guys. Even in seemingly distant things like marriage, I need to start preparing my heart and lifestyle today, because if there's one thing I learned in church today, it's that I still have a long way to go before I become a true man in God's eyes. Titus 2:6 talks about young men being self-controlled. Not quite as simple to master as some might think.

Could I be a trendsetter? Could I be the guy that starts something or guides something in the right direction in Slight Hall this year? The guy that people come to with problems even if I've never had a girlfriend? That's not for me to decide, but I'm gonna try.

And knowing myself, I'm going to fail, and I'm going to lean on God's grace more and more as a result. I'll probably make a fool of myself, and end up in an awkward situation or two, and say stupid things to people. The quest has been set before me, and there's no turning back. Still, our swords are so sharp, and the gospel is so awesome. It's a pity I forget about them so often.


Maybe someone will enjoy reading this. I haven't proofread it yet so please forgive any typos and/or nonsensical rambling.

WOW thoughts

For starters, I'm an ARA (Assistant Resident Assistant, yes that's what it means) in Slight Hall this year at The Master's College, and I've come back a few weeks early for Week of Welcome--hereafter to be referred to as WOW--which is the time when new students are welcomed to the school.

It's really an interesting phenomenon when you get several hundred people together who have never even seen each other before. There's the inevitable social animals who make themselves right at home. There's the one's who develop into a little clique and hang out with the same people all week. There's the loners who are off by themselves just being shy or selfish or hateful or something. And then there's the ones who don't really know how to start a conversation with anybody, but they hang around any person they know even somewhat well.

I was one of these last people, and it's really interesting to see, personally, how I've changed in the past year. The perspective from this side of WOW is much different than the receiving end because now, I understand that the key is to meet lots of people--to just turn around to some random person behind you in line and say "hi." It is not all that difficult either, as long as one approaches it with the proper perspective. I do suppose, after all, that the pressure to impress people and actually make new friends is significantly smaller as an student leader because of returning friends and staff members that you already know.

Then, of course, we have the WOW group, a mysterious conglomeration of random people who get to hang out for a week. This is perhaps the most hit and miss element of WOW. My groups last year and this year have been fantastic. The new students in my group this year hit it off on all cylinders as well, or better, than expected. The one "jock" isn't too cool for the rest of us, and the one really weird kid, you know, that really strange one, manages to fit in with everyone somehow, even adding some timely humor and funny discussions.

But even with all the fun times and new people that I met, the whole SLS experience managed to humble me significantly. Thinking you can serve and love people all the time is one thing. Living it out at 7:00 in the morning after having less than six hours of sleep per night for the past week is another matter entirely. Paul says that the spirit is willing and the flesh weak, but sometimes it feels like both of them are pathetic.

The fact of the matter is this: I'm still new at this whole "leadership" thing. Stepping up and providing direction and enjoyment for a group of seven people that I barely know doesn't come naturally to me. As much as I'd like to be that guy who knows how to smoothly and consistently interact with people while remaining organized and on top of the week's activities, I'm not, and I cannot be...

But that's where grace comes in. God never promises us as believers that we will not fail--else I'd fear the security of my salvation--but He does say that His grace is sufficient. That's the bottom line. I jack things up over and over again. I do irresponsible things. I act harshly or rudely to someone. Even after all of these stupid and selfish things, I still have Christ. The reality and importance of the gospel, even today, cannot, must not, be forgotten. So you messed up and shamed the name of Christ, you'll learn, you'll get better, God will be glorified one way or the other because He is bigger and stronger than a week of six hour nights and awkward situations. I'm reminded of the lyrics to one of the songs we sang this week:

You are stronger
You are stronger
Sin is broken
You have saved me
It is written
Christ is risen
Jesus You are Lord of all

Can I get an "amen?"

Random Thought

As I was reading the scriptures the other day, a strange hypothetical occurred to me:

If Switchfoot were a book of the bible, they'd be Ecclesiastes.